I am in this one particular WhatsApp group. Sometimes I feel lost and unwanted there. It's not because the members ignore me. Heavens no. It's just that I feel like I am not worthy in their company. They achieved good things that I wish I could have achieved the same. What I thought I will achieve alongside with them. But I didn't.
Aaaand of course the typical comfort words of my friends are:
1. "It's okay. Tu rezeki dia. Rezeki kita lain lain"
2. "Rezeki Allah tu luas. Don't sweat about it. In shaa Allah ok je"
3. "You're gonna do great things in the future in shaa Allah. BWP kan."
Well, people believe in me more than I believe in myself. At one point I have a clear vision of what I am capable of doing. On the other hand my confident just drained out to zero. All of this happen because of grades. My grades were bad so the door of opportunity became narrower (in the eyes of society). I will be lying if I say I don't give a damn of what society is saying. I do care. But I am trying so hard not to. The thought is inevitable. By the end of the day, only a few people really understands this. Understands me.
I have to remind myself every day that I can't be weak. I can't afford the time to be pathetic. I can't be miserable. It's not even the beginning yet. Some people had a head start in the race. Some people chose a different route to run. Some people end the game safely. Some people get minor injuries.
I have to believe that it's gonna be okay.
I have to believe that everything's gonna turn out to be better.
I have to believe that I am gonna do awesome things in the future.
I have to believe that Allah SWT has set everything that's best for me.
I have no choice.
I just have to.
Some born with greatness.
Some achieved greatness.
If I am not the first one, I wish I will be the latter.
Here's a picture that should toughen up my heart
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